My Wife Picked Out the Most Tactical Outfit on Amazon

What if your wife chose your range outfit?

Wife's Eye for the Tacticool Guy
Wife’s Eye for the Tacticool Guy

We’re coming up with some goofy ideas for Pew Pew Tactical and I posed this question.

Now, my wife is not very tactical…but always hears about us talking about tactical tactics.

This is her to the T:

30 Something Mom Starter Pack, Reddit
30 Something Mom Starter Pack, Reddit

We came up with some random parameters:

  • Total cost under $200
  • All available on Amazon
  • As tactical as possible

Read on to see the FULL outfit.

Faux Leather Jacket

Faux Leather Jacket
Faux Leather Jacket

Ok…some rando Faux Leather Jacket made by “Wantdo” for $65.  Totally not made by Asian kids.

But pretty aggressive and cool.  What I imagine Tom Hardy wearing in every single movie of his.

Maybe not so great for inclement weather.

Wantdo, Tactical Elephant
Wantdo, Tactical Elephant Chic

But I could totally be a movie stunt-double for a motorcycle gunman that gets totally clothes-lined by the hero’s car door.

Acceptable.

Cargo Pants

Ok…she’s been to SHOT enough to know this is just what you wear for pants.

LA Police Gear Pants
LA Police Gear Pants

This one is LA Police Gear ($30), but I would have preferred 5.11 ones as shown in our SHOT Show Starter Pack.

SHOT Show Starter Pack
SHOT Show Starter Pack

Sorry, I’m really into starter packs recently.

Ok, back to the pants.

It’s got all the pockets you need to EDC 3 guns, 5 knives, and 7 flashlights.

Two is one and one is none, right?

Gloves

Yahsss, these are called Tactical Operator Pro Gloves in Stealth Black ($13) by Ironclad.

Ironclad Gloves
Ironclad Gloves

Legit name.  Now if only she chose the Multicam version.

They look alright, but if you’re actually looking for gloves check out our Best Shooting Gloves article.

She was there…she took all the pictures.

All Tested Tactical Shooting Gloves
All Tested Tactical Shooting Gloves

Now, what’s next?

Poop Colored Linen Shirt

I was sad that she didn’t choose an overly aggressive gun themed shirt.

But instead went for something perfect for that warm beach wedding after the range/course/classified-op.

Linen Hawaiian Shirt
Linen Shirt

Oh yes, it’s a poop colored forever-wrinkly linen shirt ($27).

I can work with it.

Multicam Cap

No complaints here.  She got the multicam hat ($13) correct.

Multicam Hat
Multicam Hat

Now I can be just like these guys.

Multicam Dudes
Multicam Dudes

And that’s where it ended.  With no shoes…or operator shemagh.

I told her that and I’m pretty sure this one she chose was a joke.

Tactical Sandals

Camo Sandals
Camo Sandals

Oh noess…Realtree sandals ($20) to be real covert with khaki pants, a poop colored shirt, black jacket, multicam cap, and black gloves.

Katana

Wildcard of glorious Nippon steel.

Katana
Katana

Apparently the Katana from Last Samarai ($25) so it’s totally legit.

*shatters immediately*

Conclusion

How did she do?  What other items did she miss?

Full Tactical Outfit
Full Tactical Outfit

Since today IS Valentine’s Day.  We have an article just for you.  Best Valentine Gifts from YOU to YOU.

Now…if you’re looking for actual good (and tested stuff), check these bad-boy articles out:

5 Leave a Reply

  • Brian Mitchell

    I added a 5 slot picatinny bipod adapter for that same wrinkley poop colored shirt to my Amazon wishlist a few months ago. Just holding out for some positive reviews now.

    3 months ago
  • TPB

    Camo Crocs for the range because they're close-toed. Otherwise? She nailed it, she's a keeper, and you do whatever she wants whenever she wants to keep her happy.

    3 months ago
    • Eric Hung

      Ahh, that's so good. Wish we thought of camo crocs!

      3 months ago
  • Marco

    I think she should pick out some socks for you to wear with those sandals. I’d be curious to see what she gets for you. And a little scared.

    3 months ago
  • Andrew

    That's hilarious Can totally relate.

    3 months ago
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